Cranky old hermit

Sits embedded in piles of newspapers,

Clad in thinning blue robe and

Moccasins splattered with spilled beer.

His temples dotted with liver spots,

A cigarette affixed to his bottom lip,

He ogles the Fox News women and

Complains about 30-year-old communist

Concepts lodged in his brain like shrapnel.

There is a plaintive meow somewhere.

It smells like you think it does.

The detritus of his life, stacked and

Organized by year. He sleeps on a

Bed piled with clothes he never washes.

We pity him, but to be honest,

He's a bit of an asshole.