after the countdown

& the come down

the cold calculating

winter & how i

fell in love in seconds

& let myself lose it

the solemn disassociation

while the party deflated

& you

& you

so far from love i hear

only its echoes cast across

a wide canyon

like a distress signal

& i think for a moment

what it meant to rest your heart

in the hands of another

an organ you could

squeeze the life out of

but never

only left at worst

in a ceramic jar

filled with sand

beside the sarcophagus

every other sidewalk

was covered in puke

& i wish i had stayed

& you

in shorts

expecting it to be warmer

expecting the heat of life

& me pretending to have

emotions & hoping

the alcohol will suffice

& this is all in my head

i am obsequious to your needs

& i will kiss the

back of your knees

ride thunder through

the heavens for a taste

of gold on your bottom lip

press my palm against

your chest & rend your heartbeat

into two

me & you

& you

& you