every park in portland

EPIP: South Waterfront Park

S River Dr. and S Montgomery St.
Neighborhood: South Portland

This is a little park nestled near the river, in what is a kind of rich portion of the city. I hesitate to call it “chic.” I’m not sure what to call this section of Portland, to be honest. Ritzy? It’s like a small residential spot for people who have money, you know what I mean? I think there are condos here for people who have a condo as an extra home away from home. That kind of vibe.

The park itself is fine, though nothing much to look at. It honestly feels like a place rich people would build to take their dogs to pee. That plus older Asian people sitting on the benches are the only things I see when I pass by this park. Women in brilliantly white pants walking tiny dogs, and old Asian men and women sitting on the benches. That’s the vibe of this park.

Aesthetics: Eh. It’s alright. 4/10

Function: Eh. 2/10

Sketchiness: A homeless person daren’t tread these brick pathways, lest a furious Karen call the security guards on them. 1/10