Politics Hangover

It’s the day after Election Day here in the United States and you know what that means: lots of hand wringing. I, for example have been wringing my hands greatly over the Oregon governor race, where Tina Kotek is winning by 1% over Republican Christine Drazan. I am also fist shaking at independent Betsy Johnson, who pretty obviously was on the ballot just to take votes away from Tina; though, last I checked Multnomah County ballots are still being counted which means that Tina will likely win anyway.

Meanwhile, human waste pile Lauren Boebert might lose her seat in Colorado. Raphael Warnock is pulling ahead of Herschel fucking Walker, thank god. If Herschel Walker won a Senate seat I would apply for asylum in Canada, I swear.

I really wish American politics didn’t feel like I am watching an episode of American Idol or something. News channels have really hopped on this concept of elections being nail biters to the point where the whole thing almost feels rigged. Like, I kind of get when people think this shit is rigged. Our Senate race might literally end with a 50-50 split, like last time, which means it’s going to be harder to get anything done. How is this even possible? More people live in the large cities of the U.S. than they do in the rural areas–so why is it an even split between Democrats and Republicans? Seems rigged, right?

Don’t worry, I’m not a conspiracy theorist, other than that the American political system has basically been rigged in favor of rich white men since its inception. That’s not really a conspiracy though, but a feature that we’re slowly but surely patching out.

We’re probably going to lose the House, which means absolutely nothing is going to get done for the next two years because the GOP House will introduce bills that Tim Minchin I mean Joe Manchin1This is literally just a joke because I keep getting the names confused. and Kyrsten Sinema will vote for in the Senate, Biden will veto, then it won’t get past the 2/3rds vote. They’re just going to lame duck Biden until the election and then Donald Trump will be resurrected with the flashing red lights, appearing on stage to absorb the conservative Supreme Court justices and attain his final form.

In other, more awesome political news, Portland is finally, FINALLY after over 100 years going to scrap its stupid-ass commissioner style government–the last of its kind in the U.S.!–and turn it into a more traditional city council-style government. This means that five commissioners will no longer be the people that run the show. Also, candidates will be voted on in a ranked choice system, hopefully keeping the Betsy Johnson’s from stealing votes.

Rene Gonzalez is usurping Jo Ann Hardesty’s commissioner spot but hopefully it won’t matter due to the gov’t change. (Though I don’t suspect that the change will be immediate.)

Other measure results: 111, which would make healthcare a fundamental right in the Oregon constitution, is currently failing but with only 71% of the votes counted. I was leery about this one because while yes, I do want healthcare to be a fundamental right everywhere, all the time, the measure links it with our education budget, which might mean that education takes a dip for healthcare. Both of these are fundamental rights in my opinion and both should be independently funded.

Measure 112, which removes slavery from the OR constitution, is passing. Excellent. Measure 113, which vacates a legislator’s term if they accrue more than 10 unexcused absences, is also passing. This is very good, as we had a few moments where the GOP members would just not show up to votes, which is A) cowardly and B) shitty. Glad we’re fixing that.

Measure 114 is apparently the strongest gun control laws in the country, and is slightly passing. We’ll see if that holds up. I’m imagining some lawsuits if it passes, ones that will rise up to SCOTUS, where beer-laden Brett Kavanaugh will puke on the docket, destroying the bill.

The cities of Estacada, Sandy, Molalla, Banks, Cornelius, and the entirety of Clackamas County all passed measures to prohibit psilocybin-related businesses within their areas. Cowards. Cowards! Someone send an educator there to explain that magic mushrooms aren’t fentanyl and that most people have better lives on psilocybin.

Mult County is amending the charter to replace gender binary terms with gender neutral ones. Good. Take that, gender binary! Also, county officials will be elected via ranked choice voting, also good. BIG win on Measure 26-233, which will have annual jail inspections by commissioners, with volunteers reporting. This is very good, and will very much find more corruption within the jail employees than the prisoners, I guarantee it.

Overall, locally the election seems to be doing some good. Hopefully Tina Kotek will win the governor spot and we can get some real work done with Oregon and Portland. Nationally … I’m not expecting much. Just give me my $20,000 student loan forgiveness at least.

  • 1
    This is literally just a joke because I keep getting the names confused.