203: tonya (gravy mix)

you wanna know how broke i am? here’s how broke i am. last night i scoured the pantry–and when i say “pantry” i mean a tiny cupboard that i keep food in in my hovel of a studio apartment–i scoured to try and find anything that i could eat, and i found something: a packet of dry gravy mix. so i ate it. i actually took a spoon and was going to add water to it to make an actual gravy, but i forgot the water was turned off because i haven’t been able to pay the bill. no electricity, no water, nothing. i’m scrambling in the dark to find this gravy packet, and when i find it i take the spoon and the little plastic bowl my mom gave me and i head outside under a street light, because the water doesn’t work, right. i go outside under the street light and i spit a few times in the bowl to get some liquid, and stir the gravy packet in. my mouth is so dry though, i can barely get the spit to spit into the bowl. in the end i had this like gravy ball, this gross gravy ball, and some powder on the edges that didn’t get mixed in. and i ate it. i ate the gravy ball made out of my own spit. tasted alright, definitely tasted like gravy, like, like a condensed gravy. like if you opened one of those freezer cans of condensed orange juice or something and just drank the condensed version. except it’s dry gravy. really salty, really, really salty. i ended up walking for an hour to downtown just so i could use the benson bubblers to get a drink of water. that’s the last thing i’ve eaten since yesterday, and i don’t know what i’m going to eat today. that’s how broke i am. now you know.

By Josh

I'm the guy who owns this site, ya dummy.

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