173: ian spaulding (what happened in panama?)

i came here for one thing and one thing only, jack: to have sex with your sister. and she’s not even here! she texted me, look, i have all these texts and … wait a minute … you tricked me! you tricked me into coming here didn’t you? by pretending to be your sister and offering me sex. you know i don’t want to talk to you after the … incident. so what. what do you want from me? money? revenge? you think you got this all figured out, don’t you jack? think you know all the angles, know exactly what’s going on. well you know what? the only thing that’s going on is that i want to fuck your sister. that’s it. all that stuff in panama, that was years ago, that’s a different time in our lives, a time that’s behind us. so … fuck off, you know? just fuck right off and tell me where your sister is so i can stick my dick inside her. cause that’s all i came here for! and the funny thing is, you owe me so much money, jack, you owe me boatloads of money after what happened in panama, but did i come after you for it? no! because despite the fallout, in the end, you’re still my friend and my business partner. without you none of us would be where we are, jack. you gotta understand that…

[jack pulls a gun on ian]

now, see. that’s unfair. that’s so unfair. that, what you’re doing right now is so hurtful to me, jack, this turning the tables bullshit. all i came here to do was sleep with your sister, that’s all. look. i don’t have any weapons. see? i’m unarmed. not even a knife. i brought condoms, because i don’t know very much about your sister’s sexual background, you know, don’t want to stick my penis in a landmine, so to speak. and now, really, jack, is this necessary? you’re going to kill me over something that happened five years ago? why didn’t you do it four years ago? why now? this is … ridiculous. unnecessary. just put the gun down and tell me where your sister is. or don’t, actually, i don’t think i could get hard at this point anyway. put the gun away and let’s talk about panama. we can get this all figured out, okay jack? i’m, i’m going to sit down over here, alright? we’re going to figure this out, together.

[sits] okay. i think you know what i’m going to say jack, but i want you to hear it from my mouth, not from adam’s or jillian’s. i take full responsibility for what happened in panama, okay? i tried, i mean, i thought i tried to apologize to you, to all of you, now, granted, i was on the run, okay jack. i was on the run, so giving you a phone call wasn’t exactly the greatest idea. but i got word to you, i know it, benny met up with me a couple of weeks after it happened and told me you got my message, so i know. i know you know i apologized. panama was an experiment, an offshore dumping ground, you know that. it was a bubble that we carefully cultivated not to burst. but all bubbles burst, and in hindsight i wish we had seen it coming and got out sooner. but at least we didn’t get caught, right jack? god it could have been worse, it could have been so much worse. at least we got out before the leak, jack. if we had stayed one more day, we would have been implicated and we’d be in a max security prison right now. and for that, dare i say it, you should thank me, because i had the foresight to check the records, i had the foresight to check the log of data transfers. we made a mistake hiring outside of our circle jack but at least i saw the transfer before it was too late. you have to give me credit for that, jack, you have to.

now if we could just move on, look, i won’t even sleep with your sister, okay? that was me just … replying to what were apparently your texts, not hers. disappointing, but i understand.

[jack shifts in his seat, producing folded papers. he tosses them to ian.]

what is this? [reads] … ha. jack. you know this is fake, right? this is totally made up, look at this font, jack, it’s not, i would never use that font in an email–

[jack jumps up, jamming the gun in ian’s forehead]

JACK jesus christ you have to believe me, i didn’t do it, i didn’t do the transfer, i stopped┬áthe transfer, jack, this email is fake, jesus, where’d you even get this? did benny give you this? how did you get this? [crying] jack i swear to god i swear to everything holy i didn’t do it, i didn’t do it, i didn’t do it to–it, it was just backup, it was just a backup, jack i swear to god–[gunshot, jack slumps to the floor]

By Josh

I'm the guy who owns this site, ya dummy.

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