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267monologues

135: grober

[on a porch. leans forward in his chair.]

damn, jennifer’s got all the right curves in all the right places. she is a hot-tee with a capital h. holy moly. son of a bitch. look at her! my goodness. she is a work of art, a god damned work of art. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life, and mind you, i’ve been to los angeles. no way. no way no sir. god, see, when he made jennifer he was firing on all cylinders, you know what i mean? had his mind in the right place. does god have a mind? ah who cares. look at jennifer! she’s wearing that little frilly skirt thing, oh man. look at those legs! built for speed, or, or, for, or for, lifting or something. she lifts weights, she does cardio, i can tell. she probly does that stairmaster thing like, like all day long. man oh man, she is gorgeous! i should tell her. yeah i should go right up to her and tell her how attractive she looks today. that’s not weird, right? that wouldn’t look weird, would it? people, men, men tell women they’re attractive all the time, i see it on TV constantly. guys always telling ladies they look good. and jennifer she totally, she definitely deserves to know. i mean she probly already knows, right, but if someone tells her then that’s gotta feel good. yeah. yeah. i’m gonna do it. i’m gonna finish this beer and then i’m gonna do it. the beer it’s getting warm so i wanna finish it because warm beer is gross but you know, i don’t want to waste a beer. so i’m gonna drink this beer and then i’m gonna go tell jennifer that she is a beautiful woman. yeah. definitely.

[slowly leans back in chair. nods a couple of times. takes a swig of beer.]

By Josh

I'm the guy who owns this site, ya dummy.

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