i took a step up to the podium
i cleared my throat into the microphone
everybody raised their eyes at me
as if they’d already known
i made a statement
i took some questions
i answered some and i left some open
i thanked my wife
and i thanked god
but most of all i thanked my cpa
for
fudging the numbers
hiding the stats
throwing my money
into a laundromat
taking my alibi
and making it stick
now here i am
answering the public
all these cameras keep on chasing me
all these people don’t buy my line
they think that i’m a big old phony
they think that jail is where i
should spend my time
i told them something
they want to hear
got home, laid in bed and
nursed my beer
in my head i thanked
a corrupt system
but most of all i thanked my lawyer
for
preparing a statement
taking my bribes
showing the courtroom
that i’m a real good guy
drinking my whiskey
and being a prick
now here i am
answering the public
inst
no one i know can ever touch me
no onw i know has got the joie de vivre
i’ve built my mansion on their bodies
i caught their accusations on my sleeve
if you were worried
well here’s the thing
you’re just a pauper
while i’m the king
i took your money
and thanked you too
but most of all i thanked
my goddamn self
for
scamming the system
devising the scheme
turning your sadness
into a fucking meme
living the good life
and taking my pick
cause now here i am
answering the public
