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267monologues

035: thomas

terry had this idea to put a cape on the cat. like a little superman cape. it was honestly the best time being on mushrooms i’ve ever had in my life. terry wasn’t even on them, he just drank a bunch of four lokos, and pete and i were staring at his big weird mural he painted on his garage wall a few months ago and terry had sparkles in his lap, babbling about how weird his parents were growing up, and suddenly he looks down at sparkles and is like, “sparkles should wear a cape.” pete and i both looked at each other and were like, “YESSSSSS” like this was the greatest idea in the history of mankind. we all bolted into the living room trying to find the appropriate fabric. terry insisted on silk. “superman’s cape is made out of silk,” he kept saying, and pete thought he said “silt” and we spent a good five minutes hashing that out in our advanced inebriated states. we also thought this couldn’t be the case, considering the quality of superman’s cape and how it never gets messed up. anyway we didn’t have silk, obviously, we’re three dudes in a shitty house in gresham, so instead we found a dish towel and cut a little hole in it for sparkles’ head to fit through. sparkles was surprisingly chill about the whole thing, except when the cape was actually on–then he started creeping around the house like the weight of the towel was too much or something. like a little cat ninja except with a cape. and he meowed a lot, broad mrowrs imploring us to take this stupid contraption off of him. but goddamn he was cute, and we were stoned out of our minds, which made the whole experience magical. to this day pete insists that sparkles jumped on the couch and then flew around the room briefly. terry says he was just jumping to catch a bug buzzing around. i guess we’ll never know the truth.

By Josh

I'm the guy who owns this site, ya dummy.

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