A PLAY IN FIVE ACTS
SCENE: FACEBOOK
TIME: TEN YEARS AFTER GRADUATION
ACT ONE
Classmates: Hey Josh?
Josh: Yes?
Classmates: When is our ten year reunion?
Josh: OH SHIT.
ACT TWO
Classmate #1: Well, no one has planned anything, so I am making a Facebook group! That will solve everything!
Classmates: Hooray!
Classmate #1: And then I will run away, never to be seen in the group again.
Classmates: Hooray!
ACT THREE
[two days later; crickets chirping]
Josh: Are we going to actually plan anything?
Classmates: Eh, I dunno. These things come together eventually.
ACT FOUR
Josh: Alright, goddammit, I’ll plan the entire thing! Here, I’ve made a poll for if you’re going to attend and a poll for which weekend would work best for you. PLEASE USE THESE, otherwise we have no idea who will come and subsequently won’t be able to plan anything fun!
Classmates: Hooray! Thanks Josh!
[lights lower to creepy levels]
Classmate #2: But beware, for most of the people in this group won’t respond at all, and others will request dates that are simply ridiculous! Like July! July is too soon!
Classmate #3: And I will volunteer my help but then not actually do anything!
Classmate #2: And I will be very supportive but also not do anything!
Classmate #3: I will get your hopes up for no reason!
Classmate #2: I will tell you when I can make it, rather than use the polls!
Classmate #3: I will invite people to the group who didn’t actually graduate in 2001!
Classmate #2: IT’S JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN!
Classmate #3: ALL OVER AGAIN
Classmates: DO EVERYTHING FOR US, JOSH! DO EVERYTHING FOR US!
Josh: AIIIEEEEEEEEE!
ACT FIVE
[josh wakes up from a terrible nightmare]
Josh: Honey! Honey wake up, I just had the most horrible dream. I was trying to organize my ten year high school reunion, and it was just awful! Nobody would give me any clear information on what they wanted, but they all just wanted a reunion to pop up out of nowhere! It was so awful.
[GIRLFRIEND turns over to reveal she is the NAMPA HIGH SCHOOL BULLDOG MASCOT]
Mascot: Just go back to sleep, darling.
Josh: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
THE END
