an exercise in tangents

edit: how many times can i spell exercise wrong? answer: all of them


So the idea is to wake up and do some small exercises, mostly pushups and crunches, then shower, then eat breakfast and peruse the internets, and then go to work. At work, I will take walks on my two breaks, and then eat a sensible lunch, and hopefully have time for a third walk. I will ride my bike to work when weather permits, and walk home from work if weather permits and I haven’t ridden my bike. Ride has some great conjugates, doesn’t it? Ride, present tense. Rode, past tense. Ridden, past tense. Ridden is an excellent word. Rode means “I rode my bike to work,” but it can also be “having ridden my bike to work,” which means the same thing? Yes? Or maybe “ridden” means “riding up to a certain point,” whereas “rode” means “a time in the past when my bike was ridden.” I forgot about “riding,” too. Oh, gerunds. You are so magical. Will ride is the future tense. I wish we had better conjugates for future tense. Everything is “will” this and “will” that. I want a future tense conjugate! Instead of “will ride,” I want “rede,” or “roden” or something. “I rede my bike in a few minutes.” Doesn’t that just look so goddamn confusing? But it could be a thing! “Jeremy roden my bike tomorrow.” Augh it makes my brain hurt but I love it so much. I want this to be a thing. Can we make it a thing? Who do I have to talk to about the English language? Walt Whitman? Isn’t he dead? Can we raise Walt Whitman from the grave so I can ask him about this? Surely that technology exists at this point. I mean it exists in fantasy worlds, and that’s just silly. Someone invent a defibrillator that jolts skeletons into life. Don’t ask questions, just do it. You may say it’s necromancy and to that I say, I have some things to talk to Walt Whitman about, so get out of my way, and get that goddamn skeleton defibrillator up and working!

By Josh

I'm the guy who owns this site, ya dummy.

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