a response to "RED FRIDAY"

I received an event invite on my Facebook recently with the heading, “RED FRIDAY.” As with most Facebook invites these days, I promptly forgot about it, letting it fester in the depths of the abomination that is the Events page. But, occasionally I return to that page to purge all the various invites I receive, from people who live nowhere near me, or people who invite me to “awesoem keggars!” and such. Today I did such a thing, which is how I were I saw RED FRIDAY all over again.

The event page for RED FRIDAY has a long letter on it, but the gist is that on Friday, people will wear red to the airport to show their appreciation for the troops who return home from overseas. This I don’t have a problem with. What I do have a problem with is the letter in the event. So I am going to respond to said letter, right now. The letter is in block quotes, while my responses are not.


Will You give this to my Daddy?

Uh, what? Yes? The “you” and “daddy” are both capitalized. Is “You” God? Are we in a parallel universe where proper nouns are always capitalized?

As a Company, Southwest Airlines is going to support ‘Red Fridays.’

So already, I have been bombarded by two completely unconnected sentences, tacked on at the top as though they were updates to the letter. But the first one is not an update! It’s like they wrote it to immediately appeal to my heartstrings or something.

Last week I was in Atlanta , Georgia attending a conference. While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people behind me beginning to clap and cheer. I immediately turned around and witnessed One of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen.

Moving thru the terminal was a group of soldiers in their camos. As t……hey began heading to their gate, everyone (well almost everyone) was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering.

Okay, stop, hold on. Since when is standing and clapping considered the “greatest act of patriotism” you’ve ever seen? If this is true, then applauding at the end of a high school production of The Odd Couple is on the same level as writing the Declaration of Independence. Thomas Jefferson would’ve made an excellent Oscar, by the way.

When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and Cheered for, it hit me. I’m not alone. I’m not the only red-blooded American who still loves this country and supports our troops and their families.

Oh, I see. So there is a section of Americans who do not support the troops or their families because we do not applaud when we see someone in a military uniform. And your level of patriotism is measured by how forcefully you slap the palms of your hands together. Or how loud you hoot and holler. Maybe, I don’t know, but maybe there are soldiers who don’t want to be clapped at wherever they go. In fact, maybe their whole purpose upon coming home is to be quiet and distance themselves from needless attention.

Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work and home without fear or reprisal.

Unsung heroes?! Maybe I’m out of the loop but you can’t go anywhere without hearing about war and troops and saving people, etc. It’s not like we’re keeping that on the down low. Everyone who has ears hears about how great the troops are.

Also: fear or reprisal? Do you … do you know what that means? Reprisal is like when the cast of Rent sings “Seasons of Love” at the end of the show[1. NOTE TO RENT FANS: I’ve never seen the show, so I don’t know if that actually happens. WE GET IT, YOU LOVE RENT.]. Is this like “refudiate,” where conservatives make up words and we go along with it, because no one understands that the only person who is allowed to make up new words is Shakespeare, and he died 400 years ago?

Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our Service men and women, a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old ran up to one of the male soldiers. He kneeled down and said ‘hi…’

The little girl then asked him if he would give something to her daddy for her…


The young soldier, who didn’t look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her daddy. Then suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek.

Please, one way to love your country is to properly use its rules of language and diction.

The mother of the little girl, who said her daughter’s name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her husband was a Marine and had been in Iraq for 11 months now. As the mom was explaining how much her daughter Courtney missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up.

This is nice. This is a nice paragraph. It’s one of the few in this letter that isn’t biased.

When this temporarily single mom

WHOA WHOA WHOA. Temporarily single? Do you know what that insinuates?! Since when were army wives “temporarily single” while their husbands were away at war? That means that she can date other guys! Kiss them! Have sex with them! Potentially get married to them! Isn’t one of the big plot devices in war movies how the women are fed up with not having a husband, so they start cheating on them? Are we saying that this doesn’t happen anymore because they are now “temporarily single,” exonerated from any regret when they fuck the liberal hippie next door?

was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second… Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military-looking walkie-talkie. They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it..

Uh, what?

After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this to her, ‘I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you.’ He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He finished by saying ‘your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anything and he is coming home very soon.’

WAIT WAIT WAIT. They are obviously lying to this girl. If not, they would’ve just had her father speak on the walkie talkie to her. Unless they did speak to him, and he was like, “Uh, I’m busy — the New York Times’ Friday crossword puzzle is so fricken hard. Can you just give her a message? Tell her I love her, blah blah blah, what’s a seven letter word for ‘Naval Leader’?[2. Admiral. But you knew that.]” But instead, they fuck around like asshats, and he tells her he has a message from her “father” … AND KISSES HER ON THE CHEEK. Am I the only one who thinks this is 100% creepy?!

The mom at this point was crying almost uncontrollably

I would too if I saw some dude lie to my six-year-old daughter and then kiss and hug her!

and as the young soldier stood to his feet, he saluted Courtney and her mom. I was standing no more than 6 feet away from this entire event.

And as you know, proximity to an event determines how true the event is. If they were seven feet away, ohhhh boy, don’t even think about believing a word of this slop.

As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause. As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own.


That young soldier in one last act of selflessness turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek.

How is blowing a kiss an act of selflessness (p.s. creepy!)? Are you trying to say that instead of being a self-centered asshole, prideful in his own arrogance, this young soldier was actually a good guy who cared about people? Wow, it’s almost like you’re suggesting that not all soldiers are like this! That some soldiers are incredibly selfish! That some soldiers, upon seeing a six year old girl, will kick her right in the face, and laugh as though it was nothing.

Being a soldier does not qualify a person as Good or Bad. If you become a soldier, that doesn’t make you Bad. It just makes you a soldier. Your actions are not dictated by the uniform you wear. If that young soldier was a med student, or worked in a retail store, they would’ve acted the exact same way. People who are assholes are always assholes, no matter what job they take.

We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it’s good to be an American.

I don’t disagree with either of these sentences. However! I don’t think Jesus was a big fan of wars, or death, for that matter. Just saying.

RED FRIDAYS —– Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the ‘silent majority’. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers.

This is the paragraph that made me want to write this whole damn blog post in the first place. Since when were people who supported the troops considered the “silent majority”? As far as I can tell, they’re hardly silent. We’re hardly silent. We all support people who make tough decisions. I don’t support the war, and I don’t really support war in general, but I will support someone who is willing to risk their life. There is no silence about this: everyone who supports troops is very vocal. This is just another in a long list of confirmation biases that BOTH sides, liberal and conservative, use to make their points.

That said — why red? That seems tacky. I mean, red is the color of blood, something that soldiers see every day of their life overseas. Why not a cool color like blue, or green, something that will put the soldiers at ease when they arrive? Wearing red for soldiers is like wearing bright orange for construction workers — it’s the last color they want to see.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday – and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.

I don’t get why people say “red-blooded” Americans. Everyone is red blooded! We are mammals!

By word of mouth, press, TV — let’s make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers.

Yes, as most people who join the army are high school football stars who never go anywhere with their lives[3. Sorry, nerd bias here. Totally unwarranted statement.].

If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not be long before the USA is covered in RED.

This is awful! This is an awful thing to imagine!

The first thing a soldier says when asked ‘What can we do to make things better for you?’ is…..We need your support and your prayers.


Let’s get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example.

Wow, if only you could tell your Tea Party the same thing!




Not so fast, random Facebook event invite.

Not. So. Fast.

By Josh

I'm the guy who owns this site, ya dummy.

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