six things about me

Todd tagged me to do this, and I must, by law of the Internet Meme Act of 2007, respond.  The deal is that it’s six random things about me.  I talk a lot about myself so I hope that you haven’t heard these before.  Here we go!

1.  I don’t have OCD, but I do have various rituals that I do.  These rituals are only done because they Make Sense.  For example, when showering in the morning I have a specific way of doing things.  First I shower, then I dry myself off in the shower so that I don’t drip water everywhere.  Then I comb my hair before putting in my contacts (which makes sense, right?).  Then I brush my teeth.  After brushing my teeth I either shave (if I have to or want to) or I’m done and I go get dressed.  Usually the brushing teeth to shaving scenario works out like this: brush brush brush, then spit out the toothpaste, then, gather some warm water in my hands (I have too many fillings; cold water hurts!), suck it into my mouth and swill it around.  As I’m doing this I start to splash the warm water coming out of the faucet onto my face to prepare for the shaving.  I guess I do this to conserve water, I don’t know.  Then I spit out the water in my mouth and plop some shaving cream on my face and shave.

The other thing I do that ritualistic is that when I’m putting on socks and shoes, I put the sock and shoe on one foot at a time.  By this I mean, I don’t put on right sock, left sock, then right shoe, left shoe.  I go right sock, right shoe, left sock, left shoe.  I also wipe anything on the bottom of my foot off (even if there’s nothing there, I guess that’s kinda OCD), then make sure when I have my sock on that it doesn’t touch the floor before I put my shoe on.  That just makes sense!  You don’t want to dirty up your new sock on the dirty floor, right?

Besides, those are really my only two ritualistic things … that I can think of right now.

2.  I have a game that I play when I go to stores, which is cleverly titled, “Find the Hot People.”  It goes like this: when I go into, say, a Walmart, I try to find the hottest people there (women, usually, because I am a guy and why would I be looking for other hot dudes?).  I do this because Walmart and other like stores are generally full of such weird looking people that a truly beautiful person tends to stand out like a sore thumb.  It’s fun watching hot, reasonably well-off looking women shop at Walmart, cause they always have this look in their eye like they’re gonna get propositioned by a redneck guy or stabbed or something.

3.  I love, love, love singing songs that were originally written by women.  I’ve covered Feist, Britney Spears, Merril Bainbridge, Sarah MacLaughlin, Neko Case … I do it because I like to defy the stereotype that men must sing men songs and women must sing women songs.  I honestly don’t understand why a guy can’t sing a song that a girl wrote that’s about another guy.  Obviously there are gay undertones inherent in that but to me all songs are just stories, and there’s nothing wrong with singing a woman’s story if you’re a man, or vice versa.  I’m all about gender bending, apparently.  In music, at least.  I doubt I look good in a dress.

4.  I once wrote a song about the movie The Fifth Element. (and I kinda love it)

5.  I am a bit of a notorious mooch.  I can’t help it.  I’m just good at getting things for free.  My dad apparently was a mooch as well.  Though his was borderline grifting.  This was back before I was born, of course, so I never learned anything cool.

The truth is that I’m constantly broke, and so in order to hang out with people who have money and want to go places, I have to mooch off of them.  It’s not very flattering at all… but I guess I’m good at it.  So watch out!

On the flipside though, when I do have money I end up spending it on other people.  Which makes me poor again!  It’s a vicious cycle!

6.  People think this is really gross, and I’m not sure why, but: I eat Ramen raw.  Meaning, I take it out of the bag, put it in a bowl, sprinkle the stuff on top, and munch on it.  Actually, to be even more specific, I crack the Ramen in half (if you look at the noodles, you’ll see that they’re actually much longer and have been flipped over lengthwise) then sprinkle the stuff on top and munch on it.  I have no idea what gave me the idea to do this, but in a lot of ways I prefer it to cooking Ramen.  First off, it means less sodium, cause after sprinkling the stuff on top I shake the excess off (cause it’s gross and messy).  Second, it’s even easier than waiting three minutes for Ramen to cook.  Third, and this is more important than the second note: I think it tastes good.  It’s really not about laziness at all.  My favorite flavor is chicken, hands down.  I don’t know why I’m being so defensive about this.

However, this doesn’t mean that I don’t like cooking Ramen.  When I do, however, I drain the water after it’s done marinating or whatever the fuck Ramen does when you pour the seasoned salt into it.  I don’t like it as a soup, I guess.  I like it as noodles.  I do the same, now, with Cup of Noodles (haven’t figured out a way to just munch on it yet).  Add water, wait, then drain water.  My favorite flavor in this respect is beef.

(I hate telling this to people cause it makes them go, “ewwww,” even though it’s not really gross at all, and in a way is healthier than eating the Ramen and drinking the sodium-laden broth afterward.  But this is a “six random things” meme and I can’t think of anything better to talk about.)

Now I have to tag six people to do this!  I tag these people:







By Josh

I'm the guy who owns this site, ya dummy.

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