120: ohio hurts an america thought (fawm 2016)

everyone’s talking out their ass today
gotta find a new group of friends
eighteen, stuck in the middle of nowhere
akron, ohio!

myriad of hours to while away
working at the lonely hardees
on the east side
taking smoke breaks in the parking lot
and not just tobacco!

pack my aging backpack to the brim
board the train heading west
watch the sun streak by in an empty sky
i am longing for a new life
longing for one
let me go

might as well go to university
smack dab in the middle of town
21 and i’m a freshman in
akron ohio!

studying business like the bourgeoisie
working mornings at the einstein brothers bagels
i’ll never see a coast on either side
no matter what i do

jab my thumb out onto the interstate
hope i’ll hook a ride to portland
maine or oregon i don’t care
i’m just longing for a new life
longing for one
help me go

all these years i thought
i could run away
but i’m stuck in the middle
felt my roots grow deep
i keep losing sleep
i am grasping for a new life
grasping for one
let me go

standing knee deep in a mortgage
wife kids and a couple of dogs
55 and finding peace here in
akron ohio!

tryina loosen all this baggage
take a couple swings at the brookledge golf course
my handicap is high but i’m alive
in akron ohio!

119: in altars (fawm 2016)

[February is February Album Writing Month, or FAWM. I’ve thus been focused more on lyrics than monologues. But the hell with it, I’ll just post my lyrics like monologues, kill two birds with one stone. Just think of it as musical theater.]

take solace in the fact
that you’re a sliver in the universe
that you’re taking up a tiny little spot
as the virus on an atom called earth

so ruthless your attack
trying so hard to destroy this nucleus
but no matter the tonnage of the bomb
you’ll never move on
you’ll never find out
if this was ever worth it

so descending to your knees
tendrils searching for an answer
from above
crying out for divine love
for someone to tell you why

in altars you describe
how the land was formed by omni hands
how the life was given gentle breath
how you owe your soul to the one above

but something doesn’t jibe
you’ve scanned the yellowed pages for connection
rubbed your fingers over tiny fonts
wondered how small the smallest thing could be?

pressed your palms together thus
formed the question of the meaning of us
the shiver in your breath
but nothing left
from the heavens to discuss
now your parish wants to know
what you learned up in the mountaintop glow
there’s a hollowness inside
no answer coincides
and there’s no wisdom to bestow…

in altars came the pain
told the nonbelievers what they want to hear
kept the crusade as defense against affront
while you studied secretly the smallest things

your responses were to feign
and pretend that something out there loved us all
but in darkened rooms the tears would always fall
as you reconciled your existential angst

when you looked up at the stars
to distract yourself from numerous wars
fought for an abstract cause
you pause
and mourn the death of scores and scores
your just god never spoke
your consciousness never awoke
to the sound of the praying mass
you cast aside the belief
with a sigh of relief

take solace in the fact
that you’re a sliver in the universe
that you’re taking up a tiny little spot
as the virus on an atom called earth

117: alphabet with nothin (fawm 2016)

you’re always talking in complete sentences
but i still wonder what you’re saying
you’re speaking in an alphabet with nothin
but gutteral parlance
and not as much conveying
it’s hard to form a bond
when it’s impossible to respond
so won’t you help me out
and start speaking english baby

sometimes when you make the bed i’m seething
cause who cares if a bed is made
it’s not like the rest of our life looks perfect
the bed’s just a place where we get laid
the mess is where i thrive
it reminds me that i’m alive
so won’t you help me out
and leave all that shit alone

pancakes are a sucker’s breakfast i swear
they just fill you up too fast
sausage and a waffle, two eggs, hashbrowns
now there is a meal that’s built to last
so here’s where i went wrong
you were my pancakes all along
so won’t you help me out
and be better breakfast baby

judy heard your mother say that one day
you’d die in a burning building
seems a little harsh in hindsight
though at the time i agreed with everything
and i would start the fire
yeah i’d build the biggest pyre
so won’t you help me out
and give me a reason not to

nothing is as good as you think it is
it’s all just a goddamn shitpile
take a step away from facebook
see how your clothes make you look so juvenile
life has no meaning
we’re all gonna die
so won’t you help me out
and die first!

la la la la

116: careless on gangsters (fawm 2016)

i saw you careless on gangsters
there on the tv in front of me
hiding out for a weekend
felt like a goddamn eternity
you should try
to talk them down
you know they run
the whole damn town

i saw you careless on gangsters
out in the backyard, you went too hard
spending nights in a bunker
deep underground, could we discard
all these truths
you like to spew
in front of men
who could kill you

we’ve no sense
of how they feel
i’d rather not
see that reveal

i saw you careless on gangsters
now we’re a wanted man and wife
all this running from gangsters
never thought i’d see so much strife
i saw you careless on gangsters
won’t it behoove you to shut your mouth
cause we’re running from gangsters
all day all night, we’re heading south
i saw you careless on gangsters
i saw you careless on gangsters