033p: howling alone (ingrid)

i don’t give a fuck
everybody dies
some hit by a truck
some shot twixt the eyes
others hang themselves
some while jerking off
some infect the world
with just a simple cough

so you see
worrying about me
is just a waste of time
who can blame a guy
pissed off at the world
for shooting up a school
and taking out these fools
if only i’d been hit
i should’ve been a shield
cause living ain’t for shit
and nothing ever heals

chorus

032p: 21st century girl (dana)

whist’ling down the hall
a spring in every step
i blossom in the fall
awaken with some pep

my mirror loaded up
with inward-facing praise
the summer swollen shut
forgotten in a haze

i’m your
21st century girl
i’m the
future of the free world

students passing by
slow and steadily
fresh-faced alibis
potential guarantees

all the kids in school
were putty in my hands
i never lost her cool
i always had it planned

chorus

031p: prettiest (penelope)

what does it matter
i wipe off my mascara
it keeps running down my face
in front of a camera
the satellite antenna
the public feels my grace

suddenly smiling
with fake reassurance
there’s nothing wrong inside
get me home now (get me home now)
i’ll never be brave
i want to run and hide

all that i know
all that they told me
is that i’m the prettiest girl
they gave me a sash and a tiara
and all that i know
all that they told me
is that i’m the prettiest girl

i saw a boy dying
a boy from my math class
he always sat up front
and there he was lying
in freshly cut grass
a victim of the hunt

they asked me his name
i didn’t know his name
i didn’t know their names

chorus

138: the history of a nervous path (fawm 2016)

i’m overcompensating i can tell
to all these people i don’t know so well
when i’m around you it’s a whole different story
about a man who doesn’t feel like a phony

i took a valium so i could seem
all put together like a human being
my skin was crawling i kept on calling
and by the end i was buh buh buh bawling

find me a nook in your heart
remind me that i’m not crazy
no one will ever find out
the steps i took to leave the house

sending my food order back
tripping on the tipping math
you just bought majority shares
in the history of a nervous path

pull my leg to find me in fresh air
at the mall and i’m pulling out my hair
i took a chance because i need you beside me
even if that means i’m stuck in a macy’s

fluorescent lights nick my pallid skin
can’t remember when i last breathed in
i’m feeling dizzy this place is busy
find me a bench and something fuh fuh fuh fizzy

i know i’m crushing your day
sadly you see me sighing
can’t comprehend what i say
i’m doing all i can to drive you away

never once answer my phone
twenty steps to take a bath
you just bought majority shares
in the history of a nervous path

so many fish in the sea
why did you choo choo choose me
i’m just a bag of nervous e e energy y y
sleep til the sunset’s over
spend the night seeking closure
finding no answers here
nobody knows the answers here
another day disappears
and i’m just as foggy as before

134: i’m remembering (fawm 2016)

i popped this existential pimple
let the pus drain through my brain
spent all summer searching for a symbol
made to resemble a paper plane

coasting through my memories
with language on its wings
it landed on the only spot
whereupon my sadness clings

unfurled like a wellworn ship’s sail
and fraught with boolean strings
recited all, but destined to fall
i’m trying hard to keep my senses

i’m remembering
it feels a little hazy
but i’m remembering
a time when i implied
i’m not doing fine
infer what you will
but i’m holding still
i’m remembering

i squint my eyes hard in the sunlight
and reminisce alone
while crows parade around my chimney
always boasting about how far they’ve flown

what can reply? i think
there’s nothing to compare
now stuck in vacant introspection
i’m reflecting to thin air

and prying through these stubborn neurons
hoping for a little tease
of something i have done in the past
i am trying hard to keep my senses

chorus

and i may be old, i may be wise
but my faculties aren’t wired
like they used to be, i swear
i’ll have my supervisor fired
for this gross negligence
oh wait that’s me, i forgot
i hope i won’t forget that next time
wait … forget what

i call the number on my bracelet
just so i can hear a voice
remind me what i’m doing in my home
like i even have a choice

these days i wander through my mind
like a hiker in the spring
always trudging ever upwards
wond’ring what view the peak will bring

and every time i see the faces
of my family in the clouds
i call their names with so much love
i am trying hard to keep my senses

130: cut it unborn (fawm 2016)

i’ve got a feeling deep inside
and it’s bubbling up
gotta stitch myself together
or i’m gonna go nuts
if you wanna hear me cry
just step in the queue
i’ve got tear ducts that mack trucks
could drive right through

like a zygote in your belly
splitting rapidly
hope this feeling doesn’t put me through
agony

cut it unborn

there’s a 6/8 shuffle
in the back of my head
it’s the incessant pounding
that’ll knock me dead
i’ve got a bellyache
like a bellyacher should
you built a pyre round me baby
and i supplied the wood

like a virus that has entered
a healthy cell
i’ve got bad superstition
like a warning bell

cut it unborn

i took a potion
i swallowed it down
tried to eliminate
this nasty-ass frown
it worked for a moment
but when i awoke
whatever i was feeling
went from specific to a broad stroke

now i’m casing the city
looking for a cure
someone to hold my hand
to make me feel pure

cut it unborn

129: my sophisticated feast square (fawm 2016)

dim the lights it’s 2525
and the human race is glad to be alive
after the bombs fell
and nearly killed us

gather round and open your iron lungs
pick from packages green blue or brown
set it right on your stomach
and thank god for

my sophisticated feast square
all the nutrients i need are in there
my sophisticated feast square
i have no teeth
i have no hair

try to keep from making a single sound
there are too many bandits running around
and they’ve got the weapons
so keep it quiet

here’s a straw to suck down your pasty mush
you’ve got all day you don’t need to rush
enjoy all the flavors
and thank god for

chorus

your ancestors once ate real food
that they grew out of the ground
but the desert is a wasteland
and there’s not a single plant to be found
you’re the endpoint of a bad day
try not to make that your only takeaway
soon these squares will not be enough
and you’ll pass away just like everyone else does!

settle back you’re in for an awful trip
keep the bubbles out of your iv drip
try not to panic
it’s just existence

think about the future you’d like to lead
one where actual produce is used to feed
all of the people
but until then
thank god for!

chorus

128: you touch me (fawm 2016)

i came alive
when you pulled my strings
you held me up
and we danced to everything
we kissed and all
my worries melted
i missed the softness
of your lips

these moonlit skies
never looked so starry
til i saw them in
reflections in your eyes
keep your cheek
close to my chest
let me feel you breathing
on my neck

you touch me
and i feel starlight in my veins
swirled around
and on my tongue what remains
i speak to you
with love and understanding
you touch me
and i find life less demanding

please find my voice
among these passing strangers
and hold it above
for it is tuned to angels
and it can
feel your wingspan growing
i sing
to soothe your troubled heart

these are the words
written on lined paper
that i put to chords
and i sang to woo you
i hope
our hearts define collusion
let’s start
with all the love divine

i was waiting for this moment
sleeping in my own mistakes
hoping one day i would wake up
next to someone who’d ease my heartache

127: answering the public (fawm 2016)

i took a step up to the podium
i cleared my throat into the microphone
everybody raised their eyes at me
as if they’d already known

i made a statement
i took some questions
i answered some and i left some open
i thanked my wife
and i thanked god
but most of all i thanked my cpa
for
fudging the numbers
hiding the stats
throwing my money
into a laundromat
taking my alibi
and making it stick
now here i am
answering the public

all these cameras keep on chasing me
all these people don’t buy my line
they think that i’m a big old phony
they think that jail is where i
should spend my time

i told them something
they want to hear
got home, laid in bed and
nursed my beer
in my head i thanked
a corrupt system
but most of all i thanked my lawyer
for
preparing a statement
taking my bribes
showing the courtroom
that i’m a real good guy
drinking my whiskey
and being a prick
now here i am
answering the public

inst

no one i know can ever touch me
no onw i know has got the joie de vivre
i’ve built my mansion on their bodies
i caught their accusations on my sleeve

if you were worried
well here’s the thing
you’re just a pauper
while i’m the king
i took your money
and thanked you too
but most of all i thanked
my goddamn self
for
scamming the system
devising the scheme
turning your sadness
into a fucking meme
living the good life
and taking my pick
cause now here i am
answering the public

121: what knows the pageant (fawm 2016)

surveys the crowd
the only place she feels safe
the lights and the sound
her bodice it starts to chafe
imagines the crown
placed on her head
when they said

what knows the pageant

standing outside
trying to light a smoke
shivering hard
her jacket slung like a cloak
stung like a bee
she finds her words
before all the girls
are culled in herds
she needs words

what knows the pageant

the other 49 seem calm
(like the end of a broken record)
they’ve got the judges in their palm
(and hearts rendered out of cardboard)
she feels nothing in her chest
(but a brand of insipid feelings)
fakes a smile when she’s addressed
(but the lights have her reeling)
the announcer speaks
in all bass, no treble
his question a mess
but she looks so good in her dress

what knows the pageant

surveys the crowd
the only place she feels safe
the lights and the sound
her bodice it starts to chafe
imagines the crown
placed on her head
if only she remembered
what she said…

what knows the pageant