what do you do when you’re checking out a lady’s fine ass titties or fine ass booty and she catches you? huh? i don’t know i’m asking you. the other day i was walking down olive st and i see this young lady walking my way. low cut shirt, booty shorts, the whole deal. damn she was good looking, but i’m a man of today, you dig, i’m a man who respects a woman when she’s walking down the street. i ain’t gonna mess with no lady on her way. so i let her pass, but i’m wearing sunglasses, see, so she can’t see me looking. she don’t know, i mean i think she don’t know. so she walks by and i’m staring at her tits. my god they were amazing. she wasn’t wearing a bra, even, i mean look i’m a modern man but when a lady walks by without a bra you gotta look, just once at least. you gotta! it’s like an instinctual thing, man, you just gotta do it. you don’t have to stare, or catcall her or whatnot, but man, you gotta appreciate a lady’s fine ass titties.
so but here’s the thing: i turned around. i looked back. i wanted to check out her ass. and oh man it was so fine, it was finer than a handful of sand, boy. but she looked back too, and she saw me look, and she got this look on her face like, “shame on you,” and i said it before but i’m a modern man. i’m a feminist. i think women are great but you can’t fault me for wanting to check out a nice booty. so she caught me and i felt bad. i apologized and she just said “mmhmm” and walked on. and i felt bad! but see i’m a modern man so i can’t just chase after her and explain, “well let me tell you why i’m not such a bad guy.” i can’t do that. all i can do is walk on and feel bad until i stop feeling bad. and obviously i’m telling you this two days later. so i still feel bad.