220: (unsalted butter)

listen, i don’t know who these fucking retards are that only eat unsalted butter, but they are idiots and i do NOT want unsalted butter in my house! do you hear me? take it back! take it back and tell the customer service lady that unsalted butter is an abomination to mankind. why would you get something without salt in it? huh? huh? huh? huh? huh? tell me that, tell me why, why, huh? salt. it’s good for everything. you got a problem with your food? put some salt on it. hell you got a problem with your caramel? put some god damn salt in it. salted caramel! salted chocolate! salted taffy! SALT WATER TAFFY. we fucking, we put salt in EVERYTHING, and i’ll be god damned before i use unsalted butter in some of my favorite baking recipes. i see fear in your eyes because you’re scared of me. there’s nothing to be scared of, honey, i’m just passing along the truth to you. the truth is that for hundreds of years people had to eat food without salt added to it and those people were depressed and died in childbirth, and that’s just not okay. it’s not okay! so please take the receipt with you and make sure you get 100% salted butter. this is not an unsalted house!

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