167: lance (he said/she said)

i’m positive you’re full of shit. i’m absolutely positive about that. i may be wrong about a whole lot of things but i am not wrong about that. you and delia have been talking for hours now and all i do is listen, because i am your brother and i should be a nice helpful brother but all you two talk about is stuff that is patently false, or misleading. now why is that? why would you two mislead each other like that? don’t get me wrong, delia is full of shit too. maybe more shit than you, even. but your conversations are bordering on nonsensical at this point. you said brody has a vespa. no he doesn’t! brody barely owns a bicycle. and delia told you that brody’s sister trudy told him that she was more into delia than you. that’s also bullshit. how do i know? because trudy and i are in the same art class, and after class i saw her walk off with another¬†girl. not you. not delia. then you said that trudy financed her own film–again, no. she’s a sculptor, kelli, she only does sculptures. why are you two so full of shit? it’s like you’re friends who want to destroy each other. why? why is that so important? brody and trudy are dumbasses, trudy failed her driving test four times. in math class the teacher asked her what a cosine is and she said, “someone who helps you get a credit card.” i’m not kidding! you’re all smarter than she is. nice girl, but dumb as a brick, and brody’s no better. trust me. there’s plenty of fish in the sea and not all of them look like halibut, okay? go swimming.

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