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sometimes, when i’m feeling low, i like to imagine the president taking a shit. think about it: the most powerful man in the world taking a shit, just sitting there in the whitehouse bathroom, reading the new york times, dropping a deuce into an impeccable toilet. no matter how powerful or important you might be, you still gotta shit. this is nature’s great leveler. the pope? gotta shit. kanye west? probably has IBS. everyone at some point in their day has to take a dump, they have to push out waste material from food they’ve consumed earlier. and, and! you do it too. you shit. i shit. we all shit for ice shit. we all do this simple, gross, hilarious thing. so once you get that in your head, how the hell could you ever feel low? you’re no better than the president, or no worse, because you both have to dispose of poop in your body at least once a day. we’re all just human, we all have blood and skin and hair and worries and fears and sometimes we eject waste from our bodies. how nuts is that. you can think someone is the most amazing person in the world but they still gotta shit. from that perspective, i can’t believe people don’t talk about their pooping habits more often. it should be the most ideal icebreaker!

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