i am beholden to no one. i owe you nothing. and nobody owes me anything. i am a consciousness struggling to survive in the weighty meat bag i have been delivered into. every day i wake from blissful sleep, the one time in my day where i can disconnect from the corporeal world and rest in the world of the collective consciousness–i wake and move my meat bag through this world of time and space, pushing through trillions upon trillions of atoms, everything is atoms. i long for sleep because that is where my consciousness thrives, grabbing onto the collective unconscious and providing my waking state with copious amounts of ideas for creation. the real world bores me, i guess you could say. there are all of these cultural concepts and ideologies, dogmas, tenets, etc, which are interesting for a week or so, but mankind has all this time to think now, lots of time to think, because machines or immigrants do all the difficult labor, so we overthink these concepts into the ground. an ideology needs a little bit of leeway, some room to fluctuate and adapt, it can’t be a static extreme idea, as there will always be exceptions and loopholes. all of this bores me now, this desire to create perfection within an imperfect world. i long for sleep and the brilliant chaos of dreaming, the connection to the collective, the release from the limitations of the meat bag help up by bones. when i remember that i am just a selection of chemical reactions and subatomic particles representing life, i also remember that i am beholden to no one, that my consciousness is simultaneously miraculous and mundane. this concept if amplified and personified in the figure of christ and the mystery of the man who is also god. i am only man in mortal flesh, but in my mind … i am the god of my own consciousness. it is a lovely thing to be.