119: in altars (fawm 2016)

[February is February Album Writing Month, or FAWM. I’ve thus been focused more on lyrics than monologues. But the hell with it, I’ll just post my lyrics like monologues, kill two birds with one stone. Just think of it as musical theater.]

take solace in the fact
that you’re a sliver in the universe
that you’re taking up a tiny little spot
as the virus on an atom called earth

so ruthless your attack
trying so hard to destroy this nucleus
but no matter the tonnage of the bomb
you’ll never move on
you’ll never find out
if this was ever worth it

so descending to your knees
tendrils searching for an answer
from above
crying out for divine love
for someone to tell you why

in altars you describe
how the land was formed by omni hands
how the life was given gentle breath
how you owe your soul to the one above

but something doesn’t jibe
you’ve scanned the yellowed pages for connection
rubbed your fingers over tiny fonts
wondered how small the smallest thing could be?

pressed your palms together thus
formed the question of the meaning of us
the shiver in your breath
but nothing left
from the heavens to discuss
now your parish wants to know
what you learned up in the mountaintop glow
there’s a hollowness inside
no answer coincides
and there’s no wisdom to bestow…

in altars came the pain
told the nonbelievers what they want to hear
kept the crusade as defense against affront
while you studied secretly the smallest things

your responses were to feign
and pretend that something out there loved us all
but in darkened rooms the tears would always fall
as you reconciled your existential angst

when you looked up at the stars
to distract yourself from numerous wars
fought for an abstract cause
you pause
and mourn the death of scores and scores
your just god never spoke
your consciousness never awoke
to the sound of the praying mass
you cast aside the belief
with a sigh of relief

take solace in the fact
that you’re a sliver in the universe
that you’re taking up a tiny little spot
as the virus on an atom called earth

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