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my therapist recommended i take vitamin d to combat my depression. so naturally i bought the gummy kind, because god forbid i act like an adult and swallow a pill. i headed to fred meyer and they always have a “buy one get one” sale on vitamins and supplements, which leads me to believe that a plastic jug of vitamin d supplements is not actually fourteen bucks, but actually seven bucks. in truth i bet all supplements are made for pennies and marked up like crazy because people into holistic medicine are automatically suckers because they’ll believe anything from a website called “doctor mommys nutritional blessings.org.” in that regard i’m like, yeah, mark that shit up like crazy, if people are willing participants in your snake oil racket then you deserve to get all their money. when it comes to physical health, i believe in medicine. mental health … well that’s a little different. the body more or less we understand, but the mind … how can you really know the mind? but see we know vitamin d helps with depression. who the hell knows why, but it does. so i take it, in gummy form, like a goddamn child. fucking … everything’s made like we’re babies anymore. it’s humiliating. at least the gummies taste good though.

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