every pill i’ve taken so far has done nothing. this is bullshit! i wanted to be all touchy feely tonight but i still feel normal. derek you told me this shit would work! all i feel is like i have to pee. it’s cool, it’s cool, i’ll just … i’ll call larry, see if he’s got anything better. hey do you have any weed? it’s cool if you don’t, it’s just, damn i want to get fucked up tonight! this whole last year has been such shit and all i want to do is drink and do drugs and get all touchy feely with humanity, and if this molly ain’t gonna do it then maybe some weed will. i think you got a bad stash, derek! it’s also weird that they’re all minty–maybe they just gave you some mints! hey! are you in the shitter? are you taking an epic shit right now? god damn, we gotta leave in like five minutes and i’m completely sober! will you look in the medicine cabinet for nyquil or something? this is fucked up.