055: jimmy sandoo

well, what’d you guys think? pretty good? yeah? … i’m going to take your silence to mean you loved it. here’s the thing, when you’re a guy like me, six gold records, one platinum, three grammys, the music award from england whatever it’s called, guys like me know how to put out music. you know what i mean? i’m not talking some bullshit three minute pop song, any jerk off could write a song like that, and they do, every day. but to really pull off the masterpiece that was the last eleven minutes and thirty-five seconds of pure guitar jam, well, that’s something only me, jimmy sandoo, can do. hey. “jimmy sandoo, can do,” that’s nice, that’s got a nice ring to it. think i’m gonna make that my motto. but anyway i call that one “intrepid voyage into the eastern star of your mind, part 2.” why part two? well part one isn’t finished yet and part three requires a digital tambourine and two theremins built at 90 degree angles from each other, so i stick my hand in these two theremins and make a sound that only god can hear, you feel me? for the life of me i can’t find anyone willing to build it though. it doesn’t make any sense! i should go to them and just say, “hey, jimmy sandoo, can do.” or build it myself, i guess, though my hands have been insured for over four million dollars so maybe that’s out of the question.

so i’m assuming your continued silence is an indication of how much you loved it. don’t worry, i recorded this session and will be sending you each a cd just as soon as i get a hold of my IT guy, stefan. does anyone have any questions though? any thoughts? claire i see a little twinkle in your eye, if you’re interested in dinner tonight just let me know after the meeting, okay?

why aren’t you speaking to me? was it really that good? truly mind-blowing? or … wait. mind-blowing. oh my god, jimmy sandoo you’ve done it. you’ve literally blown their minds with the quality of their music. i see it now, they’re all braindead zombies, all of them! hello, claire? can you hear me? george, how many fingers am i holding up? trick question, my hand’s not even up. terry? tom? lindsay? are any of you alive? your eyes are open, but you’re just staring into space. holy crimony, i never thought this would happen. i have become so good at guitar. i am truly a guitar master.

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