053: donovan

listen to me man. i’m a shitty friend. you can’t deny that. i left you here, i left, i went to do my own thing and now it’s been what, eight years? and i know texting isn’t enough, i know facebook isn’t enough. and, jesus, coming back now seems … callous. god. i’m sorry. just, just be glad i came back, okay? i swear i didn’t mean it out of some kind of guilt, or even if i did, it’s because you’ve never been far in my mind, you know what i mean? you’ve always been here (points to head).

i hope whatever they’ve got you on feels good. i hope you’re pain free. i wish you were awake but i’ll take you comatose and breathing too. i’ll take you alive. and … when i left, jason, it wasn’t out of malice, i just needed to leave. i couldn’t be here anymore. i couldn’t waste my life in this peaceful little town and watch all my days just scream on by, you know? i had to go. it’s my fault i didn’t come back, it’s my fault for not visiting. i want you to know that i love you and i want you to wake up. i want you to forgive me before you die, jason. that’s all i want. or, if you hate me and never want to see me again, at least have the strength to wake up so you can tell me to my face. i’ll take that too, buddy. i’ll take that.

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