052: kari

i’ve deliberated on whether or not to tell you this ever since high school, but i’m gay. i’m sure you know already, or have at least suspected, considering my excessive love for musical theatre, but i thought i’d tell you just the same. i’m gay and i always have been. please let grandpa know this, make sure he gets it. i didn’t choose to be gay and believe me if i had a choice i would be straighter than an arrow. being gay is terrible in a lot of ways you’ll never understand. i mean, it’s great from a personal and romantic perspective, but from a political and cultural one … it’s tough, bordering on deadly sometimes. once some guys from school overheard me talking to a friend about being gay and after school they followed me home, and one of them told me to kill myself. to my face. they stopped me and surrounded me, three jocks surrounding a fifteen-year-old girl who barely weighed a hundred pounds at the time. said i was an abomination in the eyes of god, shit like that. i managed to talk my way out of it and once i wasn’t surrounded by i bolted for home. i ran through people’s backyards and cut through alleyways so they couldn’t chase after me. these guys were … well, if i told you who they were the sons of you wouldn’t believe me. anyway, i figured instead of keeping it bottled in while you continue to ask me once a month why i don’t have a boyfriend i would just rip the band-aid off and hope you don’t send me off to conversion therapy or something. i’m gay, i always have been, i probably always will be unless a heavy vase falls on my head and knocks me unconscious, and when i wake up i’ve found that i enjoy dick, and also speak with an english accent. so. i love you and i hope this doesn’t ruin everything, but i can’t keep looking at you with this in the back of my mind.

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