did you see that guy over there? he was totally checking us out. what a creep. he was sitting there when we came in, eating chicken strips, and like dunking them in ranch sauce while staring at you, he would like, lift the strip up and eat it like putting his head underneath it and dropping the strip into his mouth, eugh, gross. i can’t believe you didn’t see him. he was wearing a trenchcoat, seriously, like a creeper, and his hair was all slicked back … he was right over there! in the back. he’s not there now, he just left, that’s why i’m talking about him. i can’t believe you didn’t see him. he had to have been like seven feet tall, you didn’t see him get up? it was like a grown man getting up from a kindergarten table. he walked right behind you! his trenchcoat was unbuttoned and i was afraid i would see his little penis flapping around. he went to throw away his food containers, the trash is right behind you i CAN’T BELIEVE you didn’t see him! he was gnarly, had weird teeth and a long nose. i think he took your purse, even! did you not see that happen? oh my god cindy you have got to stop looking at your snapchat all the time! he totally took your purse and i think he wrote you a weird letter which he read out loud to you in front of everyone, about how great your hair probably smells. then he smelled your hair and was like, “i was right.” oh my god, cindy, this is so totally a thing that would happen to you. hold on let me snap your face right now.