007: toby parker

i am a MAN, margaret! i am a MAN. i don’t take no shit from nobody, i don’t take shit from you, i don’t take shit even from my mama. nobody tells me what to do! if i want to come home and watch bullshit on the tv and drink a six pack or hell a twelve pack of beer i can do that and there’s nothing you can do to stop me! i don’t care how long we’ve been married! i’ll do it til the day i die, i swear to god. so not you or nobody can tell me what to do, god damn it. you wanna leave? you go ahead and leave, but you know i make all the money in this family and i’ll hang you out to dry i swear to god. no woman’s gonna make a fool out of ol’ toby parker, no sir! i’ll sign all your divorce papers but you won’t get a single dime outta me! i swear to christ i’ll, i’ll run off to canada before you–i’ll burn all my money, i’ll shut down the banks, margaret! before i let some woman tell me what to do! it’s not my fault your mother fucked you up royally, margaret, nor is it my fault that my father instilled a level of discipline in my blood strong enough to kill an ox. i am the fiery vampire bat of justice, margaret! i come from a long line of stone blooded viking hellbeasts! i don’t take no shit from nobody! so you just come down here and we’ll get this all settled, you hear me? i tell you what–i’ll give you two quarters you can use to call someone for a clue, you get me? ha! haha! ol’ toby’s still got it. margaret i’m gonna leave now, not because i’m any less of a MAN but because i hear police sirens and i’ve got an active warrant out for my arrest. but i’ll be back! you can count on toby parker! you can COUNT ON ME!

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